What I Need You To Know About Confidence: An Open Letter to My Readers

The REAL truth about confidence. . .

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Here’s what I know to be undeniably true: Confidence comes from work, not genetics. And, confidence is more than just bravado.

The word confidence gets a bad rap because you immediately think of someone who is egotistical, bombastic, braggadocious. But what I’m here to help people see is that confidence comes in many different packages.

And here’s the other thing. . . confidence takes work. You may have to journey through some pretty tough seasons of life before you are able to fully embody the type of confidence that feels most like you.

For me, my confidence style is more like a ninja, a quiet confidence. I don’t like to verbalize it much. I LOVE to come in there, show you all that I’ve got, drop the mic and walk out. . . leaving you stunned.

Now, don’t get me wrong. All of this took me nearly four decades to figure out!

I look back at my 25-year-old self who felt so lost, so broken, so devoid of hope, and I want to tell her to simply look up because things can and will get better. I want to encourage her to open her eyes, and recognize who’s here cheering her on and that she’s not alone.

At that time, I had a phenomenal boss who saw something in me when I was at my lowest. Because of him, and his wife, my career took on a whole new trajectory. He cracked the veneer of the protective layer I was keeping around myself to shield me from possibility. And once I allowed curiosity to seep into that crack, my reality was blown wide open as I could start to see myself, as he saw me.

It took the persistence of someone who believed in me to remind me that I am capable of more than I was giving myself credit for. But it was not only him reminding me, it also required me to be open to listen, to receive, to get curious, and most importantly, to take one big ol’ leap of faith after the other.

The confidence that I now have has always been this dance of external validation and inner work. If you’re like me, then you might need that extra push from someone else to help you get started, but then you’re the one that has to stay the course day in and day out.

So that, my friends, is what I am here to do. I am here to remind you of what’s possible. And I am here to help you reclaim your confidence — in whatever style that is for you.

Confidence does not have to equal cockiness.

Together, let’s define a new, healthy version of confidence. One that is collaborative. One that honors a true and honest belief in yourself. (No self-deprecating or narcissistic tendencies allowed.) One that invites in a knowing that things are possible. One that knows this is all a process. One that recognizes we all can use the support and reminder from others to fuel us when we get low.

I like to call it Pure Confidence. And it’s already in you. So let’s go uncover it.

Because you’ve got shit to do in this world.

And you can absolutely do this!

Let’s (confidently) do this shit!

-XOXO Melissa “Mel” Drake

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